After several trips to the beach this summer, my car had accumulated a substantial amount of sand and was in desperate need of a vacuum, so off to the local petrol station I headed.
Well, who would have thought that vacuuming your car would be such a popular public holiday activity, but it certainly was. So I joined the extraordinarily long queue. Finally it was my turn and I headed to the machine and opened my purse. Crap! How could I possibly not have a gold coin in there, my purse was so bloody heavy. I quickly made a dash to the change machine hoping that the others in the queue wouldn’t notice. Well was that wishful thinking or what! Of course they bloody noticed and naturally obscurities were being yelled out at me and cars were honking furiously. Then to my disgust the change machine was as you would expect ‘out of change’. So I drove my car out of the queue and headed into the store where there was another long line of people waiting to pay for petrol. Cripes you would have thought this was the only petrol station open in the state or something. Eventually, I got my change, joined the other queue again and finally it was my turn. Strawberry delight fragrance, well that sounded nice, so I lifted the sprayer and then inserted my coin. Bloody hell! The damm thing started squirting out all this stuff before I even had the chance to point it in the right direction. Naturally it stopped as soon as I worked out what I was supposed to do with it. Never mind, at least my hair smelt nice and who really wants their car to smell like a strawberry anyway. Now the vacuuming…
This is where my lifesaving tips come in;
Before endeavoring to use one of those tremendously highly suctioned powered machines ensure that you are definitely not wearing a skirt or dress as this is potentially absolutely one of those wardrobe malfunction moments (see Mel’s tips No2) (thank God for the ‘appropriate’ underwear!) and also that you are not wearing your long hair in a ponytail…heck! I felt like Barbara Eden in the “I Dream of Jeanie” introduction, where she literally gets sucked back up into her bottle. Well I spent most of my 5 minutes untangling and unsucking myself from the hose and the suction head. And then to make it all a totally useless exercise, I’d selected the wrong machine and obviously the hose didn’t reach the critical bits. Bloody Hell!
